Knowing how stressful life can be here are a couple of things to (hopefully) make you smile……
This just goes to show how clever kids really are......
TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America .
MARIA: Here it is.
TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ?
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables..
TEACHER: Glen, how do you spell 'crocodile'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O.
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that
We didn't have ten years ago.
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking
When people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
Now one for all you musos and I apologise that it happens to be about a female singer.....
Before the gig, the bandleader calls the female singer over to him and tells her,
"Tonight, when we do 'Night and Day,' I want you to sing the second verse first, and then break into the bridge one bar earlier than usual. Transpose the bridge up a minor third, but then back down again for the last three bars of it. Then add a 5/4 bar going back into the FIRST chorus, singing on only the off-beats. During the sax solo, go to the bridge a bar-and-a-HALF early, interrupting the solo, finish the first verse, go to the coda a bar late, and then keep singing for a full 3 beats after the band has ended."
Her eyes widen and she says, "That's nearly impossible, I can't do all that."
The bandleader says, "You did it last night!!”